Unused Footage From The Lives Of Eminent Philosophers

Sarah Feldman

Unused Footage From The Lives Of Eminent Philosophers

In his early days, Plato enjoyed inducing vertigo by spinning in circles until the spiraling groundsky sucked him in. But cooler heads, he decided, prefer to achieve similar effects by sitting quietly in a familiar chair and banging themselves against a familiar wall until it splits and slides away in both directions.

St. Anselm to his customers at the Ontological Gift Shop: "If there's no such thing as unicorns, how do you explain them sausages?"

Descartes returning from his reluctant vacation to discover he's locked himself out of his house.

Later in life, Nietzsche found himself invited to fewer and fewer dinner parties as he continued to test his theory that the genuine sense of humour will laugh at a joke no many how many times it's repeated.

Why does little Ludwig keep coming home from the playground with a bloody nose?

"No, you're still 'it', because you didn't run around the slide three times before you tagged me."

Childhood of the radical skeptic: X, sent to stand in a corner with his face to the wall, becomes so fascinated with the texture of the paint he refuses to come out.


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