Longing to Be Occupied : Trans Desire and Other Technologies of Violence

  • Diego Semerene Brown University


*** Warning: the present memoir presents graphic descriptions of a sexual act some readers may consider violent and/or triggering. The author of the piece has expressed objections about the inclusion of such a trigger warning. We acknowledge and value his position even if we think it preferable to inform the reader. ***

On the 6thday I was a woman in my bedroom I had two men over who referred to me as a she and believed in my she-ness more than I ever could. ‘Because they need to,’ Emily said. At first I thought that the fact that men, real men, were so easily convinced to make love to another man provided there be a few feminine props- I thought it incomprehensible. But is it not just as naïve to think a gay bottom sees manhood where there is nothing but an external version of himself?

A week of faux womanhood has gone by and my head is over-boiling with good ideas, bad theories, and an uncontrollable need...